Poet – Philosopher David Whyte talks about the challenges and experience of belonging. Seeking to belong is part of our desire to feel good. It comes from a feeling of being separate, thus we do all sorts of things to get back the comfortable feeling of belonging. Getting into all sorts of relationships with people, animals, things, activities, and beliefs are all ways we perceive a connection.
I feel the root solution is oneness, the knowing that we are part of a larger source, God or energy, however you choose to see it. This belonging to our source eliminates all the feelings of separation that we seek to solve. Thus leaving our focus on choosing happiness. It’s more of moving towards what we want – happiness, rather than moving away from what we don’t want – feeling alone.
He also makes a good point about clearly identifying the way you don’t want to feel. This is exactly how we can then see how we do want to feel, be, do or have. It’s important that once we identify what we don’t want, that we move our focus and attention to what we do want. Dwelling in the ‘don’t want’ serves to keep us in that place.